


On the Outside

by bonafide_asian_nerd



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bullies, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I'm so sorry, M/M, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-20 11:04:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14259573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonafide_asian_nerd/pseuds/bonafide_asian_nerd
Summary: Simon Spier’s biggest secret just came out and his world came crashing down. Can he survive the struggles that come with having your small universe know your secret?





	1. Alone

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction soooo I’m sorry if it’s terrible. I love Love, Simon so much and I’ve already seen it twice, so I was very inspired to write this. I just wanted to add in a greater struggle to Simon’s story as the movie very much fluffed it up. Soooo, I hope y’all enjoy!

Simon was alone in his room. Alone. God he hated that word. But that’s what he was wasn’t it. Of course it was his fault though. He had pushed his family away. He didn’t tell his friends what he was going through. But it isn’t that easy. Opening up to people had never really been his thing, and he was so scared of his secret coming out. But that didn’t matter anymore, his secret was out and his world came crashing down. He sighed. He knew he should probably be studying for his AP calculus test next class. 

~~~

Simon woke up to the sound of his alarm, which he had already snoozed several times. He closed his eyes as anxiety washed over him. Waking up never used to be this hard, of course it was a struggle, but this felt like a thousand pounds was weighing him down. He had nothing to look forward to anymore, no fun rides in the car with his friends, no lunch with his friends, basically no friends. Geez, he thought, my life literally revolves around the friends I no longer have. He grunted, willing himself to get out of his bed. He dressed up and slipped out of the house, not even saying hi to his parents. Things have been so awkward and tense since he had told them, and didn’t feel ready to talk to them just yet. He drove to pick up ice coffee, something that was still normal, but god, it felt so sad and lonely picking up just one. 

~~~

When he walked into the school he could already feel eyes staring at him. This has become a normal thing, and sad as it was to admit it, Simon had already become used to it. Half of the day was a blur. The muffled voices of teachers, the blurry look of students in the hallway. Simon didn’t understand why everyone looked at him, sure his biggest secret had been revealed to everyone in the entire school, but that didn’t make him any different from anyone else there. Right? He dreaded going to lunch, he knew people would gawk and stare, but that wasn’t the worst part. 

~~~

It was lunch, and Simon found himself in the hallway alone, getting his lunch out of his locker. He knew it was risky being alone in the hallway, but he was hungry. He was fishing out his lunch from his locker when he heard someone yell, “HEY”. Simon whipped his head around. Crap. It was those two guys on the football team, he didn’t even know there names but they loved to harass him. Simon was going through the options in his head. He could make a run for it and probably get tackled which would hurt like hell, he could yell for help which would probably end in a punch to his windpipe, or he stay frozen in place and look pathetic af. He chose the latter. As they marched towards him his stomach churned and he was questioning his decision. Suddenly he was in a chokehold, then he heard someone say, “Sup, Spier”. Simon decided to respond, hoping that they’d spare him. “Nothing much, and you?” Simon bantered. That ended in a kick in his shin and an angry jock in his face saying, “You and I are not friends, we are nothing alike, you don’t deserve to talk to me. You are different from the rest us, and you’re not normal.” Simon mentally rolled his eyes, this has been happening for more than a week, and it’s getting old, the whole “you’re different and an abomination”. He just wanted to be accepted for who he was, and this was not helping. Another kick to his shin came as a voice demanded him to listen. Simon tried to block out the loud noises as the kicks kept coming. Eventually they stopped leaving him alone in the hallway. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He willed himself to get up and get his lunch. Only about 10 minutes had passed so he limped over to the cafeteria and plopped down on a table by himself. He looked over to his old table, where he was met with instant glares. He sighed wishing they would show even the tineiest bit of sympathy, considering his current situation, but he knew that they probably didn’t care. 

~~~

The rest of the day was a blur, and that’s how he liked it. No one there to bother him or bully him, but hopelessly alone. He drove home and limped into his house trying to avoid the concerned look his mother was shooting at him. Into his room he went, as he pondered his misfortune. He sighed, he knew he would put off his homework until about 9:00, so he dove into his bed. Everything seemed to blur as his jumbled thoughts and feelings took over and he felt his eyes close.


	2. Martin Addison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for commenting on my work, it really means a lot! Anyways, this chapter is not amazing, but I really wanted Simon to talk to Martin. Also, I know this probably seems like it's moving super slow, but I promise, stuff will happen in the next chapter. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

The next day he felt worse, if that was even possible. He dragged himself out of bed, but as soon as he tried to stand up the world started to spin on its axis. He groaned. He wished he had someone. Someone he could talk to. Someone who understood what he was going through. That used to be Blue, but then this whole mess started. Simon could feel the bruises from the previous day, and he winced as his jeans brushed them as he dressed up. Simon thought about missing school. He thought about doing this a lot lately, but that meant that he would have to talk to his parents, and that wasn’t something he could handle at the moment, besides, staying home would mean more bullying ad more homework when he came back to the hell-hole known as school. Simon hurried through the living room and rushed into his car.

~~~

As he drove past Leah, Nick, and Abby’s houses, he couldn't help feeling a perpetually loneliness within himself. This didn’t really feel that new. Even when Simon had in good graces with his friends, there had be this feeling of loneliness within him, even while he wasn’t alone. He could totally understand what Leah meant about feeling on the outside. Simon wondered why he was even thinking about this, because it was making him feel more lonely, but it was one of the only problems he could really face without having to talk to anyone.

~~~

Simon walked into school, willing himself to disappear or evaporate, so no one would look. As he ducked his head and hurried to his locker he saw a note. For some stupid reason he got his hopes up and thought “maybe it's Blue, or his friends trying to talk to him”, but no. It was a note from Martin freaking Addison, the very last person he wanted to see. The note told him to meet him in the library at lunch. What did Addison want? Maybe he just wanted Simon to say “it’s Ok”, or “I forgive you”. Simon chuckled at even the thought of forgiving Martin. But he decided to go anyway, just to humor him, and maybe avoid some unwanted company.

~~~  
Simon walked into the library looking for Martin. Suddenly he heard a hushed voice calling for him. His head whipped around to see the very sorrowful face of Martin Addison. “What do you want”, Simon demanded. Martin stared at him, “Look, I saw what happened in the hallway at lunch yesterday. I’m so so sorry, I really didn’t think--”. Simon cut him off, “this would happen? What did you expect, everything to be ok? Why are you even talking to me anyway? Do you want me to say it’s ok, or that I forgive you, or I’m fine? Cause it’s not, and it’s all your fault. You didn’t have any right or any say in my decision of coming out. That was not your decision to make, it’s supposed to be mine!”, Simon was fighting hard to keep his voice hushed. Martin looked like he was going to cry, but Simon felt absolutely no remorse for the boy who had ruined his life. “I’m-I’m sorry Simon”, Martin choked out. Suddenly, out of nowhere Simon felt a rush of anger, as he felt his arm swing out and a balled hand hit Martin straight in the jaw. Simon’s eyes widened, and Martin was crying as he ran out of the library. Simon ran his hands through his hair as he let out a deep breath. He hoped Martin wouldn’t tell anyone, because that would need some serious explaining, but man, that felt amazing. It took something off his shoulders that he needed off, but there was still a million pounds weighing him down. Maybe he’d use this exhilaration as a motivation to talk to his friends.

~~~

He strolled with a somewhat confidence into the cafeteria, to have it dissipate in an instant, as he bumped into two people who he didn’t want to see. Then a blurry cycle of deja vu repeated it’s cycle as he was dragged into the hall. He wondered if his friends had seen or if they even cared, he guessed they probably didn’t. Then it all went blurry, he couldn’t really focus on what those two asshats were saying, not that he cared much about it. And the rest of the day seemed to mesh together, continuing the painfl cycle that repeated daily.

~~~

He didn’t come downstairs for dinner that night because he just felt like marinating in his own sadness and depression. So, instead of dinner he decided fantasize the ways he could confront his friends. Beautiful fantasies of what he would say to them, some angry, some sad, but he knew he would ever work up the courage to say any of them. He did that a lot when he got mad. Instead of talking to someone about why he was mad, he would build a conversation about what he was going to say to them, which never worked. Maybe he scared to talk to them, or maybe he was just terrified to face the problem. Jeez, my introvert is showing, he thought. He wished he had the willpower to talk to someone, but hell, he hardly had enough to get out of bed. Maybe he’d try and talk to them tomorrow, he mused as his eyes started to droop, and the painful world started to melt away into nothingness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, like I said, this chapter isn't my favorite, but I really wanted Martin to get what was coming. On a side note, if you want to see Martin punched and handcuffed, I recommend watching A Dog's Purpose, which has a scene where Logan Miller (the guy who plays Martin) gets punched in the jaw, that made me very happy and inspired this chapter. Anywho, I hope ya'll have a good day, and I'll see you soon! :)


	3. Relief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK. I really like this chapter, so hope you guys enjoy!

Simon didn’t get that much sleep that night. He woke up in immense pain and in need of sleep. Simon rolled out of bed, trying to convince himself that “today’s going to be better than yesterday!”, but with no prevail. Simon knew at one point he would have to talk to his family again. But-- “but what?”, Simon’s thought interjected, “you’re just not ready?”. Simon sighed, maybe he’d try to make a little progress with his parents. He decided to say hi to them on his way, which left them with shocked faces, which he ignored. “Baby steps”, he thought. 

~~~

The pained loop continued until lunch. Damn. Why was it always lunch? He was seriously thinking about eating lunch in the library or something. Today was a particularly bad day with his bullies. They yelled and punched him a bit harder than usual. Maybe they were trying to make up for the lost time from the day before. Slurs of “fag”, “useless”, and “different” all swirled in his thoughts as he was tossed around by his bullies. Finally they left him alone, sitting down back against the lockers. Simon sighed. This sucked, hard. He wanted to tell someone, but that would just make it worse. He ran his hands through his hair and let out a deep breath. He picked up his backpack, and shook himself off. He started to walk away, back to the cafeteria, when he heard a voice. “What the hell was that?”, the familiar voice called out. Simon whipped around.

~~~

It was Nick, and Abby, and Leah, and oh crap did they just see that? Simon’s eyes widened as thoughts swirled through his head as he backed away. His friends-- no ex-friends stared at him, concerned. But, something inside him was boiling up, he wasn’t sure what it was. Then Leah’s voice rang out, “you can talk to us Si”. Suddenly Simon was very well aware of what the feeling was it was anger. Boiling rage that had been simmering within him since the day they had abandoned him, had overflowed as soon as those words came out of Leah’s mouth.

~~~

Suddenly he could hear himself screaming. “DON’T YOU DARE SAY THAT LEAH! DON’T SAY THAT YOU’RE HERE FOR ME, OR THAT I CAN TALK TO YOU GUYS, BECAUSE GUESS WHAT, I CAN’T! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? IT’S BECAUSE YOU GUYS ABANDONED ME.” He saw as they visibly tensed up. “YOU GUYS ABANDONED ME. WHEN I NEEDED YOU THE MOST, YOU ABANDONED ME. WHEN MY ENTIRE WORLD CAME CRASHING DOWN, YOU GUYS THOUGHT THAT WAS THE BEST TIME TO REVOKE ALL MY RIGHTS TO TALK TO YOU! I NEEDED YOU THEN, I NEED YOU NOW, BUT YOU GUYS WEREN’T THERE!” Simon felt hot, angry boiling tears flow down his cheeks, as unbridled rage exploded out of him. “I’VE ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR YOU GUYS! EVERYTIME. WHENEVER YOU WENT THROUGH SOMETHING, I WAS THERE. I WAS THE SHOULDER TO CRY ON. I WAS THE ONE YOU COULD TALK TO. SO I’M SO SORRY THAT I WAS A MINOR INCONVENIENCE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, ABBY AND NICK. I’M SORRY THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR BEST FRIEND NICK, AND I’M SORRY ABBY, THAT I WAS USING YOU! I’M JUST SO SORRY THAT YOU ALL ABANDON ME WHEN I NEEDED YOU MOST! WHEN MY BIGGEST SECRET WAS JUST TOLD TO THE ENTIRE SCHOOL, AND MY LIFE WAS COMPLETELY RUINED! I’M SORRY THAT I WHEN I WAS TRYING TO KEEP A SECRET THAT IF IT CAME OUT WOULD RUIN MY ENTIRE LIFE, I WASN’T THINKING ABOUT YOU GUYS!”. Leah looked on the verge of tears, but Simon needed to let it all out. “I’M SORRY THAT I DIDN’T TELL YOU GUYS ABOUT ME BEING BULLIED OR THAT I WAS STRUGGLING! I’M SO SORRY THAT YOU GUYS NEVER GAVE ME A CHANCE TO TALK! YOU WOULDN’T LISTEN TO ME. WHEN I EVEN BREATHED IN YOUR DIRECTION I WAS MET WITH ANGRY GLARES! YOU GUYS DIDN’T EVEN TRY TO DEFEND ME IN THE CAFETERIA, SO I GUESS I THOUGHT YOU DIDN’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ME AND WANTED TO COMPLETELY REMOVE YOURSELF FROM MY LIFE, BECAUSE I’M SUCH A TERRIBLE PERSON!” “Simon.. We’re so so sorry”, Abby breathed out. “Oh fuck off Suso, YOU KNOW YOU’RE NOT. YOU KNOW YOU’RE SO ANGRY AT ME FOR TREATING YOU LIKE A PIECE OF MEAT, AND NOT CONSIDERING YOUR FEELINGS, AS I WAS STRUGGLING THROUGH THE HARDEST PART OF MY LIFE! EVERYONE LEFT ME ALONE, ABANDONED ME. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW PATHETIC IT FEELS TO BE COMPLETELY ALONE, KNOWING THAT NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU OR HOW YOU FEEL?” “Simon…”, Leah whispered out between tears. Simon glared at her angrily, “when I needed you the most you weren’t there for me. I needed you, I needed all of you” Simon stared at his friends. “And you weren’t there. You say I’m cruel, Leah? Abandoning your friend after his biggest secret was revealed to everyone he knew, what does that make you?” Simon looked up to give one last glare at his friends then stormed away.

~~~

As Simon walked away, he was willing himself not to break out in tears. He didn’t even know where he was going. He decided on the men’s restroom. He got into a stall and let out a huge sigh. Angry boiling tears dripped slowly down his face. He felt half of the pressure release off his chest, but he realized. If he had even the slightest chance to have his friends back, he completely ruined it. God, he was going to be alone for the rest of his life. The rest of the day was out of focus. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t comprehend anything, he was a complete and utter disaster.

~~~

When he got home, he was completely spent. He was tired, he was drained, he felt hopeless. The world spun as he made his way to his room. But as he laid down on his bed, he was in a way glad he talked to his friends, if you would even count that as a conversation. Simon closed his eyes, feeling for the first time in a long time, satisfied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah! This one felt very good to write. I hope ya'll enjoyed! Have a great day! :)


	4. Maybe a Chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. School sucks and I'm dying. However I am making up for this tardiness, with an extremely long chapter, so I hope you enjoy!

Simon was staring at the ceiling. It was 6 am. He had actually woken up early today. Now what he was going to do with this time, he had no idea. He continued looking at the ceiling, trying to communicate with the universe. Why is this happening to me? Why me was a question he had been asking himself far too often lately. He wondered why it was him whos biggest secret was told to the world. He wondered why it was him whose friends abandoned him. He wondered why it was him who was bullied. Why it was him who was completely alone. He wondered why the universe hated him. He sighed, and decided to get ready for school. He said hi to his parents before rushing out to his car before they could try and start a conversation.

~~~

At school, Simon walked tiredly down the halls. He didn’t make eye contact with his friends as they walked by. The feeling of complete and utter loneliness washed over him as he stood there knowing he was completely alone in life. We wished it had been different, he wished his life was different, but he knew no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t change it. Simon sighed and went to class, already feeling drained even though it was just first period. 

~~~

During lunch, nothing out of the ordinary happened, which was a little worrisome to Simon. He got his lunch, sat down alone at his table and ate. No bullies, no nothing. What he didn’t notice was the pained and worried glances his friends were now sending his way. Maybe they actually cared about him now that he yelled in there faces, Simon mused. Maybe they would forgive him, and then suddenly everything will be normal. Simon wished it was normal. Simon wished he could be sitting with his friends. Simon wished he wasn’t goggled at all the time. Simon had been wishing and wondering a lot, lately. 

~~~

His day continued like normal, but there was this pressing sadness looming over him and he had no idea why. It wasn’t until after play practice did some actually happened. He was making his way down the halls, wishing he and Abby could talk, when he was in a chokehold. “Thought you could get away loser?”, he heard. “We saw you talking with your friends yesterday”, the voice growled. “Huh, friends, talking? I wish!”, Simon thought as he let out an internal deprecating laugh. “Now, let’s hope you didn’t tell them about our little secret, or else you’re really in for it.”, one of his bullies whispered into his ear. Normally Simon would have some witty comeback, but today he just stayed quiet and took it. “Unusually quiet today aren’t you. Well, I’m glad you’ve finally learned your place in society. Invisible!”, laughed out one of the jocks as they punched and kicked him. Simon’s eyebrows were furrowed in pain. He was on the floor, and the kicks and punches kept coming. They were harder on him than usual. Way harder. Maybe they were trying to scare him as to make sure he didn’t tell his friends. Well, they didn’t really have to worry about that, since he didn’t have them anymore. His ears were ringing and he could feel bruises forming. Simon felt himself being pulled up off the ground by the collar of his shirt. The jock was looking at him straight in the eyes. “Don’t tell anyone you hear me!”, yelled the jock, as spit flew out of his mouth. “Loud and clear asshole.”, Simon responded, immediately knowing he had made a mistake. A fist came flying straight to his face and he felt his eye go numb as he was propelled into the lockers behind him. 

~~~

Leah’s P.O.V.  
I’m worried about Simon. I wished I had noticed something. I wish I had been there for him. We should have all been there for him. Damn it. God, she just wanted her best friend back. She knew he was right though. She knew that she was supposed to be there for him no matter what, but she wasn’t. And she felt terrible. Her and Nick had waited in the library while Abby was in play rehearsal, and the whole time she was thinking of ways to apologize to Simon. She couldn’t speak for Abby or Nick, but she wanted Simon back. She wanted the happy Simon, the one who was her best friend. 

~~~

She was walking down the hallway with Nick and Abby, when she heard something. It sounded like Simon. She picked up the pace and turned left. She was right it was, but she didn’t really want it to be him anymore. The scene that panned out in front of her wasn’t pretty, there were to jocks standing around Simon, one of them holding him up by his shirt. She heard one of the bullies say something, and then Simon say something. She heard Nick and Abby come up behind her, having just caught up with her, as one of the bullies punched Simon straight in his face. Everything was in slow motion. Simon flying back into the lockers. The two assholes walking away snickering. Her running towards Simon, as Nick and Abby followed. He looked badly hurt. How long has this been happening? How had she not noticed? She felt herself slide over to Simon and wrap her arms around him. 

~~~

Leah felt as Simon began sobbing into her arms. Loud, noisy, heartbreaking sobs emitted from him. She saw as Abby and Nick surrounded him in hugs as well. She rubbed his back and whispered, “We’re so sorry. It’s going to be ok. I promise.” But she wasn’t sure and she was terrified. She was terrified for Simon’s safety. She had never ever ever seen him like this, and she’d known him for— for forever. But she hugged him. And she would keep hugging him for eternity, if she didn’t feel Simon go limp in her arms. “Shit. We need to get him to his house.” Leah exclaimed weakly. 

~~~

They were able to get him into Abby’s car. Halfway through the drive, Simon woke up. He looked around blearily, then when he saw where he was and who he was with, he immediately tensed up and looked almost embarrassed. Leah looked at him and said, “Simon I’m so sorry. I should have been there for you, I should have given you a chance.” Leah heard Abby and Nick pitch in, sounding just as sincere and sorry. They were all sorry. Leah felt like a villain. There Simon was, miserable and broken, and she had abandoned him. Simon nodded wearily, an indication of him accepting their apologies. “Where are we going?”, Simon asked. “We’re taking you home”, Nick’s voice came out softer than Leah had ever heard. But Simon didn’t look at all comforted by this. In fact his eyes widened at the sound of “home”. “Shit. We can’t go there. My parents can’t know”, Simon said immediately, sounding panicked. Leah immediately knew something was off between Simon and his family. He was never extremely open about his feelings especially to his parents, but he never didn’t not want to talk to them. “Simon. We need to go there. Your parents need to know about this. I know things have probably been awkward, but this is something that you should not hide”, Leah heard herself plea. Simon let out a sigh, and nodded his head in agreement.

~~~

Simon’s P.O.V.  
Simon felt groggy and miserable. He was in a lot of pain and he dreaded going back home to talk to his parents. He knew he shouldn’t have avoided them for so long, but he just felt like he couldn’t talk to him. Which was ironic, since the first thing his mom had told him the day after he came out, was “You can talk to me Si”. As they pulled into his driveway, he felt very aware of the bruises covering his body. He almost wanted to turn back, but he knew he couldn’t. He stepped out of the car and walked to the door, praying that Nora wasn’t home yet. He felt a little better, knowing that his friends were were him, that maybe there was a chance. With all the remaining strength he had, Simon unlocked the door, and braced himself for whatever came next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! See ya soon! :)


	5. Everything is Going to be Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I haven't updated in forever! I've been really busy with school, and I haven't gotten a chance to write. Also, this chapter isn't really that great, so I apologize in advance for that as well. Anyways, I hope you still enjoy!

Simon opened the door of his house. His friends were waiting for him outside in Abby’s car. Simon was nervous. He didn't really know why. Maybe he was scared of what they might say. Maybe he wanted to pretend like everything was the same, but now he would have to face the fact that it wasn’t. As he stepped into the house he looked around. He saw his mom and dad sitting on the couch. The world came out of focus as he walked towards them. Everything seemed to blur as he sat down in front of them. He looked at them. He didn’t speak, he couldn’t speak. Maybe he was waiting for an answer. Waiting for them to say it was going to be okay. Waiting them to have an answer. When you’re young, you think that your parents have all the answers. You think that they always know what to do or what to say. Truth is they’re just as lost as you are. That scared Simon. He wanted to know, or at least pretend that everything was going to be ok. He wanted his parents to say it was going to be ok. Simon felt tears well up in his eyes. He felt childish almost, looking at his parents waiting for a response. 

~~~

Emily Spier’s P.O.V.  
Emily had no idea what to do. Her son had just walked into the house, bruised and miserable, and sat in front of her and Jack. What was she supposed to do? She was a psychologist. She was supposed to be trained for this, but how could you train for this? Simon was looking at her, on the verge of tears, but Emily didn’t know what to do. Damn it, where were the answers? Where the instruction guide that told you how to do this? How to be a parent? How to help your kids. Where was the fucking manual? Emily was at a loss. She couldn’t say anything, but she couldn’t leave him like that. She beckoned Simon to come on the couch with her and Jack. He walked over slowly, trembling. Then her mom instincts kicked in and she just hugged Simon. She hugged him as tight as possible, not wanting to let him go.

~~~

Simon’s P.O.V.  
Simon leaned into his mom, and he fell apart. He was crying. He felt like a child, sobbing into his mother’s arms. She was squeezing him so tight, pulling him to come back down to her. Simon was holding onto her just as hard, trying to have something to ground him, something that reminded him that everything was going to be ok. Somehow everything felt better. It felt like everything was going to be ok. It felt like there were answers, that there was something that was something right in his world. He looked up at his mom, not really knowing anything else to say except, “I’m sorry”. He didn’t really know why he was sorry, or why he felt like he needed to say it. But, his mom looked into his eyes and said, “ Don’t say sorry. This is not your fault. You don’t need to apologize for being gay Simon. You should never have to apologize for that.” She looked at him intensely. “We don’t care about who you like or how you live your life, we care about you. We care about if you’re okay, and happy. I miss when you were happy Simon.” Emily pulls Simon in closer. “I just want you to be happy. You deserve everything you want. You deserve great friends and people who love you. We just want you to be happy.”

~~~

And for the first time in a long time Simon did feel happy. He felt the weight rise from his chest knowing that they loved him no matter what. Maybe that's why he had been avoiding his parents. He was scared of what they might say, or how they would feel about him being gay. He hadn’t given them a chance to talk to him because he was afraid of what they might say, but now he wish he had talked to them sooner.

~~~

After a few minutes of sitting on the couch, the silence started to linger. It was almost uncomfortable. Then Simon’s dad spoke up for the first time since Simon came in, staring at him saying, “Simon I don’t mean to pry, but what happened to your face?” Simon saw he mom cast an almost scolding gave at his father, but his dad shrugged it off. “Because if it’s bullies, I swear to god just tell me what they look like, and I’ll punch those assholes into a pulp”. Simon let out a soft snicker and grinned. “Dad, it's nothi---”, Simon stopped himself. He realized the only way this was going to get better was if he told someone. “It's something. These two guys on the football team, I don’t know their names, but they think it's fun to bully me because I’m gay.” Simon sighed. “Perks of being a gay kid in homophobic Georgia I suppose”, he muttered sarcastically. His parents looked concerned, but not surprised. His mother sat up and said, “Well, we’ll take care of that.” She turned to him, “I just want you to know that you don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve to be bullied, and it is most definitely not your fault. So don’t ever think that. You deserve to be happy.”

~~~

As his parents filed out of the room Simon took a moment to stare around the room. He looked at the family photos that hung on the walls, and for the first time, he felt like it was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed, and I apologize for this chapter's lateness and terrible writing. I will hopefully update much sooner, so see you soon! :)


	6. Alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I did not get this out as soon as I wanted, but hopefully you enjoy! Also, sorry for the shortness of this chapter, but I was going for and, hopefully achieved a short and sweet ending!

Simon woke up happy, for the first time in forever he didn’t feel like his world was falling apart. He got out of bed feeling normal, it was weird. Finally feeling like the world wasn’t against you and people still cared. He didn’t have force himself out of bed today, or push against the seemingly infinite pressure of his life. Simon got out of bed and dressed up. He left his bedroom and went to the kitchen, where Nora was cooking some fancy looking French toast. He said hi to Nora and bantered with his parents for a while and then went to his car. It was so weird, having a normal day, feeling like everything was ok. It was odd having normal be weird. Maybe Simon how not ok everything had been. He sort of pretended it was fine and he could just push through it but maybe he couldn’t do that alone.

~~~

Simon picked up his friends, a luxury that he would never take for granted again. They picked up some iced coffee, like usual, and it felt so weird, so normal, to have his friends back. They danced along to the radio on their way to school, and finally, finally Simon realized the pressure and the weight of being alone was gone. He wasn’t alone. Being alone was probably the hardest part of this whole mess. Having no one there, no one supporting you, was something that was awful and he hated it. Not being alone, not feeling alone was something that he realized was so important to him, and to everyone, he realized. And now he wasn’t alone. Now somehow, everything was going to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnnnd, it's done! My first fanfiction successfully finished. I really enjoyed writing this, and I hope ya'll enjoyed reading it! I will definitely be writing more Love, Simon fanfiction, so this is not the last you'll see of me! Soooo, hopefully I'll see you guys soon! Have a great day! :)


End file.
